Come as you are…
About a week ago, I discovered I had been nominated in the Bloggers category at the inaugural Pulse Influencer Awards. I learnt of this news really by chance, on Twitter and in the most gentle but insistent ways, this discovery rocked me to my core.
This nomination brought my soul to a standstill. And in that moment, I felt seen, I felt heard, I felt validated, I knew I needed to write again.
I hadn’t blogged for a little over 7 months prior to this and could not remember the last time I wrote simply for my own pleasure (and maybe one other person’s, for vanity’s sake…) so I knew I was never going to ask guys to vote for me. How do you seek accolades for non existent work?
I knew one thing though, I felt it with extremely deep conviction; this was the universe telling me to get back to doing what I was born and called to do! Just write, VeronicaH!
The irony though is that even though I stopped writing, I have never really stopped writing. I work in advertising and my job is a lot of writing. But this day job had seeped into my personal writing and taken all the joy, with what felt like good reason but now is undoubtedly just faceless, soulless insights.
I stopped blogging because the world had shifted and was now ‘video first’ I needed to catch up and be with the trends too, if my analytics would ever make sense. If I was to get get paid sustainably for my creating. In hindsight, that feels like a lot of excuses just to give up because aren’t I paid by my employer to create? Shouldn’t that have been enough validation to keep me going?
It should have. So why wasn’t it enough?
I have spent the last week (since learning of the nomination) knowing I needed to get back to writing and attempting to find my niche, whatever that is. And then it came to me in a dream… lol, I wish. I was on the couch, scrolling through Netflix, feeling bombarded by the numerous options when I realized it doesn’t really matter how I group myself. The only writing that matters is being true to myself.
The good book says to come as you are. So here I am, whomever it is that I am in this season… it feels nice to be back.
Here’s to staying.
Love & Potatoes,
V
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